Bound

I had been a member of NRBC since I was 11 years old. Though I moved away in college, and eventually joined another church once we settled in Greensboro, I came home again to NRBC when we moved back to Richmond. After 17 years of service, we felt the call to leave. It has been one of the hardest leaps of faith I have taken thus far in my life. 

As I stood among the rows of pews at SMRBC, I could feel it...a feeling of peace yet containment. A feeling of comfort in the midst of turmoil. Previously when I tried to explain what it meant to be bound in worship, I was met with confused looks. The word itself, bound, has a negative connotation. Society often thinks of bondage or restriction, however, this was not what happened with me. For me, being bound meant that I was wrapped securely in His love. I was subdued but never once defeated. I was quiet but never once silenced. I was still but never once unsteady. 

Sitting in the worship services, I have been so hungry for the Word as well as its development in my life. I look forward to this journey! 

A rant

I am not sure why I feel the need lately to rant, but it is there. Maybe it is caused by my girl...I know I should not get annoyed when boys are....well, just boys, but I cannot help it. I want nothing other than my girl to be happy and loved. Young love is hard. Throw in social media (Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, FB), texting, prom, break-ups and high school drama, and it equals strife.

There is too much negativity today on social media; what is going on lately? Social media sites have become a playground for complaints. What good can come of that? NONE! And don't even get me started on complaining. Living positive is a choice - sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. Seriously. Put your best foot forward. If you are in a bad mood when you wake up, go back to bed. If you can't go back to bed due to life's obligations, then make the best of it. No one wants to be pulled down by negativity. (lol Maybe I should listen to my own advice since this post is a bit on the negative side....or is it just my normal sassy-ness coming out??)

Nevertheless, the most solid advice I can give is to make the best of it. Don't make matters worse by overthinking the situation. Think about the other people involved. Don't hurt someone else's feelings. Stand up for what you believe. Defend the ones you adore. Love one another. Be real. Tweet positive. Make a new friend. Accept people for who they are. Be willing to be vulnerable. Take a chance. Be willing to share...but don't cheat. Be real. Love Jesus.

This advice might be hard. Let's face it - who wants to be real in a world of fake? But, you will be happier when you are being true to yourself.

Over the past few days, I have felt it. The words are waiting to pour out of me. I am not sure what provoked it exactly - teenage drama in my household? Stress at work? Illness in my family? Unrest in my soul? Whatever the culprit, the words are bubbling - waiting to escape. Do I write an advice column? My students think I should write a book full of advice - apparently I have had some life experiences that have made my "wisdom" valuable - or humorous - not sure which.

Or, do I write about reaching this point in my life - do I finally get it? Is there really such a thing as a mid-life crisis? If so, am I in the middle of it? Is this what crisis looks like? Gosh, I hope not. I just have a few things I need to figure out. Like do I go on a diet and drink Medifast shakes and drop weight in metaphorical snap of my fingers, or do I join Weight Watchers? Or join a gym? Or eat a chocolate bar? Whatever it is, I need to get over my inhibitions. I am ready to bear my soul - I am just worried about who I might offend in the meantime. Will my teenager be ready for aspects of her life to be shared? Will my sweet, compassionate husband be ready to listen to my rants in person and now on "paper," too?

So much to consider, so many things to say...

Thankful

There are many days when my job stresses me out. I put a lot of pressure on myself; I have high expectations for my students. I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. I have learned to laugh at myself for my mistakes as well as celebrate my successes. At the end of the day...each day...I can honestly say I love what I do. My prayer for you is that you can say the same. smile emoticon ‪#‎blessedteacher‬

The above is my current Facebook status. In the wake of another crazy busy week, I needed time to reflect. This is what I have done this week:

• Monday: lobby the General Assembly to encourage our delegates and senators to increase teacher pay, reduce the number of SOLs our students need to take, and help reduce our health insurance costs by adopting a statewide health insurance plan for teachers, among other initiatives
• Monday afternoon: ship 62 pages of the yearbook for our deadline (worked until 7pm)
• Monday afternoon: meet with the newspaper editors to review the work done on our paper deadline
• Monday night: re-edit the school newspaper 
• Tuesday morning before school: upload our newspaper for publication with our publisher in the valley
• Tuesday: start the underclassmen deadline in yearbook with my J2 (newbies) journalists; start the theme deadline for my upperclassmen in yearbook
• Tuesday: teach concession/counterargument in English class
• Tuesday: teach/review layout terms for newspaper in Mass Comm
• Tuesday night: attended the SBO budget meeting

Whew! I am only at Tuesday! I am proud of what I accomplished in just two days.

• Wednesday morning - 9am: I am thankful that I saw one of my newspaper kids sign on National Signing Day to play football for Va Tech. Austin is great person, and I know he will succeed because he puts his all in to it!
• Wednesday English classes: persuasion, concession, counterargument! My kids were really into this lesson. One of them sent me a message on Twitter asking if they could further debate the topic in a Socratic Seminar.
• Wednesday night: church supper; church choir - got my worship on!
• Thursday 8:15am: distributed the newspaper! The student body loved this issue. My staffer reporters were excited to see students walking through the hallways reading the paper and discussing the issues! Several tweeted positive comments.
• Thursday yearbook 8:30-11:45: worked with our awesome and talented yearbook rep, Denise, to discuss our book's progress. This meeting was super intense and lasted close to three hours! What?! We were able to accomplish so much and correct our design problems. YAY!
• Thursday English: a bit of a downfall; I could not find a set of handouts. My classroom can be somewhat of a black hole. I wonder if other journalism teachers can relate? The papers are no where to be found. I have the papers the day before when I taught concession/counterargument. The only thing I can figure is that the handouts were chucked when my newspaper staff and I cleaned up the room. Ugh! I felt frazzled and discombobulated. The lost papers threw off the start of the lesson and created a few awkward moments for me. I know that I cannot always be a great teacher, but I sure strive to be. I have really beaten myself up for this mistake today. I definitely need to let it go. The lesson turned out okay; I was able to still do some of the work I planned, but I had to be some creative juggling.  

I am not sure why I am detailing all of this information; maybe it is to serve as a reminder for why I am so tired but yet so fulfilled. Sometimes I have to remind myself to look on the bright side, to stay positive. Other days I don't need to be reminded. I am grateful for a job where I can do what I love while trying to make a little bit of difference in a kid's life. I may not get it right every day, but I am thankful that God has given me a new day to try it again. 

Snow Days and Crazy Weather

While the snow days have definitely caused me some stress this year (SOL testing and yearbook deadlines), I love the traditions that a snow day brings. Sledding with friends, baking cookies, walking up the road to visit loved ones...my days are complete when I can spend time doing the things I love.

However, there is a bit of reality that strikes sometimes, too. I do take time to grade papers, wash laundry and clean my house.

Yesterday the weather was so warm we could enjoy being outside in our shirt sleeves. (It was 74! Hard to handle the 50 degree difference we experienced today!) We ventured to Crump Park to visit with the animals and to look for snakes and other creatures. You guessed it, Allen and his family were with us. I've posted a few pics for all to enjoy.

This is Luke the snail that Allen found and Hannah adopted for a few hours. He was a cute little bugger.

The beauty of the woods.

Hannah and Emily "play" a game of checkers while Jaden and Nala look on.

Meet Hamilton the mule. I really wanted to go back to the park today. The mules have a building for shelter (in the background), but they often choose the outdoors. I am sure they were beautiful this morning covered in snow.

Hope that you, too, have enjoyed your time off today.

Hope

Today our pastor spoke on Hope. Do you have hope? Do you have peace and joy? My faith in Christ and personal relationship with him reminds me that I have hope for tomorrow and hope today. I continued reading today after church, and I was reminded that struggles and strife remind us that we have hope through Christ. Through the trials of my life, especially our five lost pregnancies, I am reminded that God is doing a good work in me. And, over the last ten years, I have been able to reach out to other moms who have suffered loss, too. This ministry is definitely one I wish I did not have, but I am thankful that I have been able to be a support to so many others.

I ask you today, where does your hope come from? Do you have hope? Do you have peace? Joy? Love? If not, I invite you to talk to me about my Christ and my relationship with Him.

"I have a hope! I have a future!
I have a destiny that is yet awaiting me.
My life's not over, a new beginning's just begun,
I have a hope, I have this hope!

God has a plan, it's not to harm me,
But it's to prosper me and to hear me when I call,
He intercedes for me, working all things for my good,
Though trials may come, I have this hope.

I will yet praise Him, my great Redeemer,
I will yet stand up and give Him glory with my life.
He takes my darkness and turns it into light,
I will yet praise Him, my Lord, my God.

There's still hope for me today 'cause the God in heaven loves me.

I have a hope, I have this hope."

-Tom Walker
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSbJtqYow3Q&noredirect=1

40 years?

How it is possible that in less than 10 days I will turn 40? To be cliche, it feels like just yesterday that I was 25. I guess time really does fly when you're having fun - or just living life!

As I teenager, I remember thinking that 40 was ancient - that no one had a life at 40. Thankfully, I realize now that thought was incorrect! Over the past 40 years I have learned patience, found a stronger faith in God, and learned to bite my tongue more often. I am certainly more assertive than aggressive, have more wisdom to offer, and have acquired a taste for red wine. My life no longer centers around me but revolves around my family and those whom I hold dearest. I realize being alone is not the same as feeling lonely; that love at first sight does exist (DAVID!); that it's okay to leave the laundry for a week; that I cannot be perfect at anything. My microwave needs to be cleaned again, my dog sheds too much (so does the fluffy cat), my mom really knows a lot about life, and life is fleeting. As 40 creeps closer and closer, I realize that my parents are getting older and won't be here forever like I thought when I was little. But, my mom still makes me chicken noodle soup when I am sick and my dad calls me at night to check on me.

As I enter the last week of my 30s, I will celebrate the people around me who love me just as I am. And I will love my age, despite my trepidation of turning the big 4-0. Cheers!!